lust but not least

I know you've been depressed for the last 50 years. I know you're married to a man whom you deeply care for but who'll never be able to really communicate, and this kills you with frustration. I know you've done amazing great things during the last 2 years and now you're much more indipendent than you've ever been in all your life, though tired to your bones..
I know you're worried for me and Kee, for our jobs that seem to fly away with the wind just when we start to rely on them... and I know that this sometimes keeps you awake at night.

I know all about you. And I've always silently understood, as I've always been the Sensible One. Never complaining, never arguing. I've always loved you. Much more so, when you didn't even look down at me.

I know you've understood so so many of the mistakes you've made, and you really want to make things up for us all.

So why on earth do you keep on answering the phone with that gloomy voice, as if you were going to exhale your last breath?
Why do you always wait for me to call you, instead of calling me sometimes?
Why can't you listen to the sound of your voice and realize how much you hurt us with that anguish? Why can't you see how hard we had to fight against your pain, before it became *our* pain? Why, oh Lord, why does your personal blues have to be deeper and harder than any other's? Can't you see where this all has taken us?
Why can't you ONCE IN A WHILE put your sadness aside and just take a look at your children?

Share your beauty and love with us while you're still here on this earth, don't make us longer for a smile. You know how it feels when death takes away your chance of being a daughter anymore. And you know that until you know what it feels being a daughter - and stop being a child - you're not ready to be a mom.. And I wanna be a darn good mom.. sooner or later..

I know me and Kee are both in our thirties, and maybe you think we don't need you anymore but we do, we haven't ever had you when we were kids. Too many silent mornings, too many relatives to play with, so you could rest in the shadow of those endless afternoons.

You're our mom. Yours is the only job one cannot retire from.

I wish this could be enough for you to start, at least.

Yesterday the Addams' family opened a new store in the second most important town of the region I live in. It's a couple of hours' away from here, so we had to leave town quite early in the morning to get there on time and to work like dogs before and during the opening ceremony. Actually I had already worked a lot for that, as the ceremony and the party after that are things which I personally take care of.

This is my third new opening since I've worked for the Addams and it's the second opening this year. Last one was in March, in a village not too far from here.

I had heard this time would have been harder and much more tiresome - apart from the distance - because of the many many things that hadn't worked out well in the previous months. Problems regarding almost everything, from the goods to the building, from the shop assistants' uniforms to the stands and racks, from licenses and authorizations to software bugs.
So, when we got there we had no surprise in finding all the guys in a daze.

In addition, the air conditioning system was out of order. Considering that the temperature outside was about 34° C, no wind with 400% humidity and that the store has huge windows (=let the sunshine in...) imagine how "cool" we all looked.. At 7 AM, me and Frook looked fine: we had nice dresses, nice high-heeled shoes, nice hairdos and so on. At 9 AM we had started looking a bit less shining. At 1 PM, our makeup melting, we looked like homeless raccoons. At 4 PM, hungry, tired, sweating copiously, dishevelled, totally worn down, we were ready to star in an episode of Lost.

The store opened at noon, after the usual speech from Gomez Addams (K.o.M's dad, a man compared to whom Mr.Magoo is a lovely handsome easygoing lad. A man who makes Uncle Scrooge look like the most selfless and generous benefactor in the universe) following which I learned it's better to wear a look of intense admiration and interest. If tears of emotion come, it's even better, but it's not essential.

After that, the customers all fought their way to the buffet, behaving as in a story from the Bible. No, not like Moses and his friends towards the promised land, a bit more like the grasshoppers of the Egyptian plague.
After less than 20 mins the tables were empty. You could hear a sound as if the wind was blowing through the desert... woooooooooooohhhhhhhhh... Impressive, uh?

I always get quite astonished about people's behaviour when it comes to free food or gadgets.

Besides, the Addams usually buy some thousands of small plants to be given as a gift to the customers. Some girls in pretty uniforms stand beside a green table and give the flowers to the ladies. Or so it should be if people didn't act like they were mental... Yesterday I saw two men in their late forties (beer belly, almost bald head and stuff) fiercely arguing about who was the first in line to get a tiny petunia. One of them was almost shouting that his wife was pregnant and she would have died if he hadn't taken her the plant.. Folks, I'm talking about a small, tiny, 50 cent of Euro petunia. My gosh..

The 3 little pigs (my boss, the Second Son and the K.o.M) were frantic and tired, and I reckon they really were emotional about all the circus. You know, all the talks about "we're a family, we're the largest store chain in the region still we're so modest and human - yeah, you bet - and our clerks are all happy and smiling - yeah, you bet n.2 - and we're growing a halo 'cause - light a candle and pray - we're SAINTS!"

I know that after The Company Ravishing Annual Party nothing can surprise you anymore, but believe me, it was a science fiction-horror movie. I didn't even have to pay a ticket to see it!!
Ok, I lost some 6 pounds from the sweating and fasting, got so tired that I fell asleep at 7 PM with my face buried in the dinner plate and slept so badly I'm aching all over. But isn't it a small price to pay for such a show?

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Title from: Hotel California - The Eagles

Bee - hi, hon
me - hi. what's up?
Bee - the silly crap is here
me - who???
Bee - Charmes' girlfriend. She's in the restaurant right now
me - f*ck
Bee - yeah. She's really a worthless crap.. I asked her where mr.Charmes was..
me - yeah, and she told you he's at work, I guess... that bitch.. I cannot even stand her saying his name, not to mention knowing what he does, where and when...
Bee - right..
me - but why on earth did you have to ask her, good lord!!
Bee - I don't know... I thought it was natural, I mean, she could have find it strange if I didn't ask anything...
me - oh, c'mon....
Bee- ... I don't know why you're getting so upset (SHE DOESN'T KNOW, MY GOD!!!!) She's such a meaningless puppet, the more I look at her and the more I recall his face when he talks to you... well.. he's scared to death, but he belongs to you, hon. (... this is the difference between a gossipy friend and a simple gossiper... the friend dresses the wounds SHE inflicts)
me - yeah, he belongs to me but in this life he's sharing his bed with her. Let's wait for next incarnation, maybe... Anyway, you're kind to say so, ok, but for the future... instead of comforting me AFTER a mess, would you mind AVOIDING the whole "mess creation" stuff?
Bee - ..... I couldn't help but calling you.. I was so upset!
me - (SHE was upset, uh?) ok, ok, never mind. See you tonite, then.
Bee - You ok?
me - yeah, I'm fine. It was just a moment, but I'm far beyond these things. I mean, how many times do we have to repeat this mantra? "what's written for me will be mine, what is not for me wouldn't make me happy anyway". So, I'll live my life peacefully and good things will come. The right things will come. It's just a matter of time. And patience.
Bee - There you go, girl! See you later, then.
me - Oh, Bee... just one thing left
Bee - what?
me - poison her food or I'll kill you bare handed
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Title from: What's your sign? - Des'ree