Wednesday, February 15, 2006
L is for lover
I won't pretend to ignore bloody Valentine's day.
Neither I'll pretend being in a good mood, which I'm not. At all.
One year ago on Valentine's Day I was fuming with rage at Goldfish and trying hard not to lose my temper because of Mr.Charmes, who was starting then to force me into a deeper relationship.
Same time, same place, one year later I'm fuming with rage because of Thomas' rudeness (yeah, can you believe it?) and trying hard not to buy a chainsaw to slaughter him, Mr.Charmes and some passer-by - you know, chainsaw slaughters can cause addiction..
Thomas' revelation (and revolution) is worth a whole post, so I won't spoil the coming update with any news. Anyway, from last year not so much time has passed but there are so many things I have learnt since then that I feel I'm 10 years older (read: tired and weary, not wise and sage). This is something one should to be very grateful of, and I am indeed.. I'm almost happy, in spite of cloying, sickening Valentine's atmosphere.
Don't know much about the way this is celebrated around the world, apart from nice postcards and stuff, but here in Italy it's mostly a "buy-me-flowers-and-chocolate-and-pretend-we're-happier-than-ever" sort of stuff. A very very romantic-faking celebration, you know, so romantic that even Scarlet O'hara would puke at the mere thought of it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for love and romance. So sweet am I, that I can even recall two tender Valentine's moments of my life, and just the memory of those puts a smile on my face.
The both are strangely related to jewels, even if I really couldn't care less about gold or stones... mmm... Should I change "sweet" with "greedy"? Anyway...
The first one was in 1993. I still lived at my parents' then, and I was sitting near the fireplace when Pi arrived with a tiny box. As I may have told you before, he is an artist (though now is deeply involved in a total money-making job) and never seems to remember anything, not to talk about birthdays, anniversaries and so on. That is the reason why we used to have our personal Valentine's day, which we also invented a nickname for, several times a year, whenever one of us was in the mood for a celebration.
That year, he came at my parents' home to see me as he did almost everyday. I don't remember if we wanted to go out or not, but maybe not as I remember being in my pj's...Jeez, it was an awful pink pj's that would have made anyone scream in horror... he didn't, and this could actually be the first thing to prove he was deeply in love with me..
Anyway, he came and gave me this tiny box and... there lied a little lovely ring with an oval lapislazuli (which had been one of my favourite semiprecious stones for years).
I don't know why but I cherish this memory so so much.. maybe because it was more than 10 years ago, maybe because we were both young and so trustful, or just because we were so madly in love... don't know. Anyway, that ring's still in my bedside table drawer and the memory, as you see, I still tenderly treasure.
The second memory is about Valentine's day 2002. Goldfish had come to see me, here in my hometown. We had been together for less than one year then. We lived in very distant places (still do) and in spite of passion and love, our daily routine was made of loooong phone calls instead of hoooooooooooot kisses. C'est la vie. But that day we were together, happy and foolish like every other lover in the world. We went out for dinner, spent a lovely evening together and eventually came back home, longing for each other's arms and lips. We were so passionate and tender that I'm still moved at the thought!
While chatting under the blankets (you know, candlelights, incense burning and all) he asked me to straighten up and sit on the mattress, close my eyes and turn my back at him. Ok. I love these games, the little girl within me thought, overjoyed, so c'mon man...!
A second later I felt something cold around my neck. Two seconds later I was staring at myself in the mirror. Naked and glowing in candlelight, a lovely white gold necklace glittering around my neck. Tre seconds later I was overwhelmed by emotion, tears flooding down my eyes, his arms around me and my heart in the skies.
Either Goldfish and Pi have been really important men in my life. And they both sent me a Valentine greeting today, which I found very sweet.
I may not have a man in my life now, I may be still in pain for all the recent events, but one thing I know for sure: the greatest thing you'll ever learn is learn to love and be loved in return.
Neither I'll pretend being in a good mood, which I'm not. At all.
One year ago on Valentine's Day I was fuming with rage at Goldfish and trying hard not to lose my temper because of Mr.Charmes, who was starting then to force me into a deeper relationship.
Same time, same place, one year later I'm fuming with rage because of Thomas' rudeness (yeah, can you believe it?) and trying hard not to buy a chainsaw to slaughter him, Mr.Charmes and some passer-by - you know, chainsaw slaughters can cause addiction..
Thomas' revelation (and revolution) is worth a whole post, so I won't spoil the coming update with any news. Anyway, from last year not so much time has passed but there are so many things I have learnt since then that I feel I'm 10 years older (read: tired and weary, not wise and sage). This is something one should to be very grateful of, and I am indeed.. I'm almost happy, in spite of cloying, sickening Valentine's atmosphere.
Don't know much about the way this is celebrated around the world, apart from nice postcards and stuff, but here in Italy it's mostly a "buy-me-flowers-and-chocolate-and-pretend-we're-happier-than-ever" sort of stuff. A very very romantic-faking celebration, you know, so romantic that even Scarlet O'hara would puke at the mere thought of it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for love and romance. So sweet am I, that I can even recall two tender Valentine's moments of my life, and just the memory of those puts a smile on my face.
The both are strangely related to jewels, even if I really couldn't care less about gold or stones... mmm... Should I change "sweet" with "greedy"? Anyway...
The first one was in 1993. I still lived at my parents' then, and I was sitting near the fireplace when Pi arrived with a tiny box. As I may have told you before, he is an artist (though now is deeply involved in a total money-making job) and never seems to remember anything, not to talk about birthdays, anniversaries and so on. That is the reason why we used to have our personal Valentine's day, which we also invented a nickname for, several times a year, whenever one of us was in the mood for a celebration.
That year, he came at my parents' home to see me as he did almost everyday. I don't remember if we wanted to go out or not, but maybe not as I remember being in my pj's...Jeez, it was an awful pink pj's that would have made anyone scream in horror... he didn't, and this could actually be the first thing to prove he was deeply in love with me..
Anyway, he came and gave me this tiny box and... there lied a little lovely ring with an oval lapislazuli (which had been one of my favourite semiprecious stones for years).
I don't know why but I cherish this memory so so much.. maybe because it was more than 10 years ago, maybe because we were both young and so trustful, or just because we were so madly in love... don't know. Anyway, that ring's still in my bedside table drawer and the memory, as you see, I still tenderly treasure.
The second memory is about Valentine's day 2002. Goldfish had come to see me, here in my hometown. We had been together for less than one year then. We lived in very distant places (still do) and in spite of passion and love, our daily routine was made of loooong phone calls instead of hoooooooooooot kisses. C'est la vie. But that day we were together, happy and foolish like every other lover in the world. We went out for dinner, spent a lovely evening together and eventually came back home, longing for each other's arms and lips. We were so passionate and tender that I'm still moved at the thought!
While chatting under the blankets (you know, candlelights, incense burning and all) he asked me to straighten up and sit on the mattress, close my eyes and turn my back at him. Ok. I love these games, the little girl within me thought, overjoyed, so c'mon man...!
A second later I felt something cold around my neck. Two seconds later I was staring at myself in the mirror. Naked and glowing in candlelight, a lovely white gold necklace glittering around my neck. Tre seconds later I was overwhelmed by emotion, tears flooding down my eyes, his arms around me and my heart in the skies.
Either Goldfish and Pi have been really important men in my life. And they both sent me a Valentine greeting today, which I found very sweet.
I may not have a man in my life now, I may be still in pain for all the recent events, but one thing I know for sure: the greatest thing you'll ever learn is learn to love and be loved in return.
